Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Should I Be Crying?

People keep asking me if I've been crying a lot. Even if you barely know me, you know this is a totally legitimate question. Everything makes me cry. The places I cry regularly include: on the subway during a touching portion of a book, on the treadmill when sappy lyrics stream through my earbuds, and in elevators everywhere while eavesdropping on the tragic, romantic, beautiful lives of strangers.  But the truth is, and frankly I feel a little guilty about this - I really haven't cried about our goodbyes yet.

It's not that I'm not sad to say farewell to my friends or my city, and it's not that I'm not feeling sentimental, it's just that I'm having too much fun!

I've found that one of the realities of growing up (which the world failed to mention to me) is that the older you get, the busier you get, and your friends get busier too. It seems that with each passing year it's harder and harder to make plans with friends. Once upon a time on a Saturday evening, I'd call a friend to see if she had plans for the night and she'd respond by slathering on some lip gloss and telling me where to meet her in five. These days, I call a friend on a Saturday evening to see if she has plans in a month an half, and she takes out her calenders (plural) and tells me she could do a Tuesday in three months, if that works for me. Which it doesn't, because I already have plans that day.

But ever since we announced our imminent departure, our friends' schedules have miraculously cleared and we've had plans (plural) every night.

Making friends as an adult is another thing that no one tells you about as a kid. It's much harder to form meaningful, deep friendships when you're no longer in a social setting that incubates relationships.

I cherish my childhood friends, I can't imagine my life without them, but I am indescribably proud of the friendships I've built in NYC as an adult.

So aside from pure fun, our recent onslaught of socializing has served to remind me of the truly special bonds I share with my friends here, and the warmth from these final shared moments has brought unexpected, unadulterated joy to our hard goodbyes.

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