Saturday, June 30, 2012

Bonus Moments

You may know, or you may have guessed by now, that I am not in fact IN India. It's a rather long, tedious story, one which I'll revisit when I can discuss the details with a better sense of humor. But for the time being, my husband is in India getting settled, and I am still here in the US playing vagabond,  jumping from one guest room to another. 

While I'm missing Tal terribly, and I'm incredibly sad we weren't able to start our adventure together - my time in the States has proven to be full of it's own wonderful adventures.

This evening I had the distinct pleasure of seeing the spectacular Idina Menzel in concert with the Philadelphia Orchestra. I felt like she was singing just for me! She pulled one favorite after another out of her repertoire, and performed each as though it was the first time, instead of the thousanth. 

She closed her final set with a few brief words of remembrance and a beautiful dedication to the talented Jonathan Larson. I've seen both the film and staged versions of Rent multiple times, and I've listened to the original cast recording enough to know every lyric to every song. But still, the song she selected as her finale, No Day But Today, resonates with me each time.

The summer before my senior year of high school I painstakingly stenciled a line from the song onto a neon yellow poster board, meant to serve as a loud reminder of my goal for the year. It was as perfect an inspiration then as it is now:

I can't control my destiny. I trust my soul - my only goal, is just to be.

With so many things in my life currently out of my control, just "being" has presented itself as a bit of a challenge. The reminder at this evening's concert was incredibly timely. When I'm able to slow the speed of my thoughts to a reflective place (a hard task given how tied they are to my emotions) I'm reminded that many of my best memories have been made during those occasions in which I've trusted in myself, and allowed myself the freedom to experience the moment. 

Logically, I know it won't be long in the grand scheme of things, until I'm in India. And while logic isn't exactly my forte,  I've decided to think of every extra day in my home town with my parents, Philadelphia with my brother or New York City with my dear friends, as bonus moments. 

But should you run into me on one of those days, maybe you could give me a hug and remind me I said this? If you wanted to hum a little show tune at the same time, it couldn't hurt.

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